To My Abusive Mother on Mother's Day

Dear Mom,

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that you are estranged from your children. I'm sorry that you drove them away after years of blaming them for your own problems. I'm sorry that you only saw them as a extension of yourself, something to mold into your fragile self-image. You missed out on so much. They were strangers to you even when they lived under the same roof. How sad for you that you never got to know who they were. I'm sorry that you felt it was more important to enable an abusive father over protecting your own children. I'm sorry that you chose dysfunction and denial over integrity and truth.

I'm sorry that you are estranged from your grandchildren. They are beautiful, shining little people full of heart and spunk. They are deeply loved. They are seen, heard, and protected. They are allowed to say no and to express how they feel. Because of your example, they are being raised to respect their bodies, hearts, and minds. Because of your example, they have healthy boundaries. I'm sorry that, because of your example, you will never meet them.

My heart breaks for you because you will never truly know what you lost. You were never able to see the real value of what you once had. I know how difficult it is to get through Mother's Day. While I open my hand-made cards and focus on the goodness and love that is in my present family, a part of me will be grieving the thought of you. I am sorry that you never got to experience a real family. It is a wonderful feeling to be loved for who you are. I wish you knew what that was like.

Your Daughter

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