Hate Couch, Part Two

You guys, I found my hate couch. It's the perfect dusty, moldy tweed. A little muted, and still not quite as hideous as the original inspiration, but it'll do, pig. It'll do.

I had been watching it on Craigslist. They wanted forty dollars for the damn thing. Then they marked it down to twenty. I got it for free, because, really. Ironically, the ad said, "Love the 70's? You'll love this couch!" If they only knew that "loving" this couch was not my intention. I had loaded it up and was just about to sneak away when the lady came out and asked me what I wanted with a 70's couch. Perhaps there was just a little too much twinkle in my eye. I managed a non-committal response and peeled out of her cul-de-sac, fast.

Bonus: I picked it up in a suburb that looked like the neighborhood where I grew up. Even more bonus: the name of the street was shockingly similar to the name of the street I lived on. In fact, it was exactly a mash up of the street I lived on and the closest cross street. What? Little signs like that make me feel like God is with me. You guys, I think God really wanted me to have this hate couch.

The nice thing about moving a hate couch is that you don't care if it gets pushed out of your car and tumbles into the street. I push-dragged it into the garage. Of course, I had to explain to my young children what it was for. Their response was like, "Cool. Can I destroy it, too?" They totally got why I wanted to destroy a couch. But it's my hate couch. All mine. I let them give it a good kick, and told them they can go scream in a pillow or something, but only Mommy can destroy this couch.

My plan is to not have too much of a plan, and to work on it as the mood strikes. I want to take my time with it. In the garage, I have easy access to power tools, paint, and anything else I want to (literally) throw at it. I did take a sledgehammer to one corner already, and it was marvelous.

I'll post an update with some "after" photos shortly.

Comments

No, There Are Not Two Sides

I was in a meeting where a mediator was trying her best to stay impartial to a situation where a large volume of well-documented verbal and emotional abuse had occurred. She was a trained professional, but professionally speaking, she didn't want to be in a position to take sides on the issue. She offered the worn-out platitude, "Well, there are two sides to every story..." I let it slide the first time she said it, but when she said it again, I stopped her. "Actually, when it comes to abuse, there are not two sides. There is abuse, and there is the recipient of abuse. The recipient of abuse is not at fault for the actions of the abuser." Her jaw dropped a moment, then she nodded slowly. She knew I was right, and in this moment, a light went on. The situation she was mediating was not about two people having a disagreement. It was about a serial abuser attacking someone else who had done nothing to provoke the attack. She couldn't stay impartial. It

The Difference Between Trauma and Anxiety

I've been living with the effects of complex trauma for a long time, but for many years I didn't know what it was. Off and on throughout my life, I've struggled with what I thought was anxiety and depression. Or rather, In addition to being traumatized, I was anxious and depressed. All mental health is a serious matter, and should never be minimized. If you are feeling anxious or depressed, it's important and urgent to find the right support for you. No one gets a prize for "worst" depression, anxiety, trauma or any other combination of terrible things to deal with, and no one should suffer alone. With that in mind, there is a difference between what someone who has CPTSD feels and what someone with generalized anxiety or mild to moderate depression feels. For someone dealing with complex trauma, the anxiety they feel does not come from some mysterious unknown source or obsessing about what could happen. For many, the anxiety they feel is not rational

Why Psychological Trauma is More Damaging Than Physical Trauma

You were lied to on the playground. "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." Neuroscientists and psychologists have proven in spades that words hurt most of all. But first, let's establish that abuse of any kind is horrible, heinous, and deserving of attention and care. The impact of physical trauma ought never be minimized in order to shine a light on psychological trauma. Not only is all trauma valid, all perceptions of trauma are valid. Two people can experience the same event and have drastically different outcomes. One's experience isn't more or less valid than another. If it hurts, seek help. Physical trauma is visceral. There is hard, objective evidence of abuse. Most people don't question its validity. It's cut and dry. "If he hits you, you should leave." If you are beaten or shot in a senseless crime, no one will try to convince you it didn't really happen. Children who are physically abused are

I Have Something To Say

Search This Blog