I Have Something To Say

I study a lot of stories, and I am well-versed in the power of inspirational stories to uplift and entertain through shared catharsis. We can learn a lot about our own lives through storytelling. However, there is a big reason why some stories that feature characters who rise above their circumstances go down as all-time classics, and why some fall flat. It's all in how the character handles (or doesn't handle) their trauma. Take Harry Potter, for instance. After his parents died at the hands of evil, he was raised by his aunt and uncle, the epitome of ignorance, hate, abuse, and neglect. When he escapes them by going off to Hogwarts, his experience there is not exactly all happy charms and spells. He narrowly escapes one plight after another until he finally has to battle the one who killed his parents. Harry Potter works because Harry appropriately faces the trauma of his past. He doesn't succeed in spite of it, he succeeds because of it.  He is the ultimate exampl...

Don't laugh, but watching The Brady Bunch as a kid offered one of my first insights that there might be something wrong with my family. You see, in spite of all the Marsha envy and Peter ruining the song with his pubescent voice, they actually seemed to like each other. They talked to each other. They fought, but they weren't punished for expressing themselves, and they actually apologized to each other. That was completely foreign to me. Then, The Simpsons came along. At home, my own bumbling, drunk father and my mumbling, hand-wringing mother were far from funny, but I found solace in a show that featured a smart, sensitive, woke child named Lisa, who tried her best to manage the chaos around her. I understood the irony of The Simpsons, and the emphasis on the witty humor in spite of the pain made me feel less alone. Someone, on some level, understood my family. Fast forward to today, where TV dramas are full of complex anti-heroes and psychotic, abusive, crazed, broke...

Most of my professional work revolves around writing, and subsequently, marketing my writing. There are certain commercial pressures that go along with my job that I want to be free from here. I don't normally share my work unless it's polished. This blog is my unedited, first draft thoughts and feelings loosely surrounding the topic of abuse. I'm not going back to fix a stray comma or awkward sentence. I will mix past and present tense, because the experience of abuse simultaneously occurs in both past and present. I am not going to overthink, or self-edit too much. I will not worry about how my writing is perceived by those who want to get all judgy about those things.  Of course, in making this decision, I become instantly aware of how much I worry about this stuff. Part of it is my training. Editing and proofreading make good sense, and I am an advocate of it in almost every case. However, the spirit of this blog is to shine a light on the areas in which I feel vul...

I love inspiring movies, I really do. Give me a (deserved) happy ending any day. I believe in the power of storytelling to transform hearts and minds, and point people toward what's good, beautiful, and true. But a satisfying ending in a story is what Aristotle would call "better than the real." Stories can offer insight, but they can't be the literal answer. Take It's a Wonderful Life, for example. Inspiring, right? George's friends come through in the final hour. An angel gets his wings. Everyone leaves the theater (or living room) happy and fulfilled because the story ends on a high note and all seems right with the world. They've forgotten that, UM, HELLO, FIVE MINUTES AGO HE WAS TRYING TO KILL HIMSELF. George Bailey is a hero because he sacrifices all his hopes and dreams in order to help other people.  Admirable, right? When he wants to explore the world, he stays home to take care of the family business. When he still wants to explore the wor...