As an abuse survivor who struggles with complex trauma, I must limit how much I engage with the inescapable political frenzies that consume the cultural landscape. Like many other survivors, the idea that anyone could set aside reason to vote for a sexual predator stirs up a deep reservoir of physical, emotional, and psychological distress for me. I know first hand what the excuses sound like, and I have zero interest in entertaining them. I have written before how those who enable abuse are often worse than their abusers. I despise enablers. As a survivor, I process more traumatic fallout from the enablers than from the abuse itself.
That said, I want to address why it's important that white female voters do not become the political scapegoats for the actions of predatory white male politicians. Last night's election in which Doug Jones defeated Roy Moore, largely due to the voter turnout of black men and women who voted over 96% in favor of Jones, was a win for everyone. And by everyone, I mean everyone. Even the gaslit supporters of Moore. It's a proud day, especially to celebrate the black voters who helped turn the tide. But this morning, I woke to other rallying cries on social media. "White women, what's your problem?!" Sixty-three percent of white women in Alabama voted in favor of Moore. And while that is disturbing news, what's even more disturbing to me is that no one is saying, "White men, what's your problem?!" when seventy-two percent of white men voted for the sexual predator. Men, once again, seem to be getting a pass while women are held responsible. Sigh.
I want to pause here to point out that some generalizations are necessary in order to address such a large and complex topic. Generally, the failure to hold white men accountable for their actions and behaviors is the elephant in the room. Sure, historically speaking, they've held all the power. Sure, for centuries prior, women and minorities had no voice. Sure, the role of the white woman was to stand by her man, no matter what. Sure, it's still less than 100 years that women were even allowed to vote. Sure, the conservative culture of the South dictates and distorts the notion that women submit to and serve their husbands. But let's blame the white women for this ethical failure, because the women should know better? Uh, no.
All people, in the course of their lives, regardless of circumstance, must rise up and take responsibility for their own part in the cycle of oppression and abuse. Education is a major factor. Educated men and women, black and white, are far more likely to apply critical thinking skills in the voting booth, which is a step toward progress. For those who wish to break the cycle, it often means taking on more than their own share. But let me explain why it's not so easy for white women in the south (or anywhere that touts a similar narrative) to just "snap out of it" and stand against the generational tide of racism, sexism, and obvious abuse of power.
It continues to be generally assumed that the white man has all the power and that the woman's role is to pay service to that lie. For a white woman to go against her role that means going against her culture and identity. It means giving up an entire way of life. It means breaking centuries-old tradition. It means causing a shitload of trouble. And while culture is slowly shifting in this direction, it is extremely difficult for white women in the south to see it for what it is. It's a form of Stockholm Syndrome. They have been oppressed for generations, and yet they love their oppressors. And, speaking from the perspective of someone who has survived long-term, complex trauma, it's a lot easier to go along and make excuses than to face the truth.
When someone is abused and oppressed over a long period of time, the brain rewires itself to cope. It will minimize, excuse, or explain away inconsistencies in order to go along with whatever the dominant stimulus offers. That's why so many people are legitimately confused over politics and ethics right now. What might be blatantly obvious to many of us, such as the fact that a sexual predator is not fit for leadership of any kind becomes squishy and intangible in the mind of someone who has been manipulated and gaslit to benefit the alpha in the room who controls the narrative. It's easier to believe the lies of their manipulators that "libtards" are pulling one over on them than to believe that the manipulator is in the wrong. Brainwashing is crazy-making stuff, and the recovery process can be long and difficult, if there is any opportunity to escape it at all.
The problems of sexual power, sexism, and racism loom large in our country, and will not be resolved quickly. But let's not forget the unique struggle each person has to seek and hold to truth in order to combat everyday darkness. For white women in the south, let's encourage and motivate more than we castigate and blame. Let's educate. Let's offer solutions. Let's recognize them as abuse survivors, and offer help those who wish to be helped. Let's hold the abusers accountable, not the victims.
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